Seeking therapy not a sign of weakness: psychologist speaks mental health for men

People across the country continue to struggle with mental health and anxiety issues. According to clinical psychologist, Dr. Jay Greenfeld, over half of Canadians have reported struggling with anxiety, but that’s just what’s been reported. Greenfeld says he’s also questioning how many more people are flying under the radar and suffering in silence.

June marks mental health awareness month for men, and Greenfeld says due to many factors, men are even less likely to report their anxiety and mental health struggles.

“Underneath it all, men are still human and they still experience these things. But oftentimes they are not taught or certain behaviours are not modelled for them to have that softer side,” explained Greenfeld.

“The reported cases with men are lower, but yet when it comes down to certain things like suicide for example, men are three times more likely to complete suicide compared to women.”

Greenfeld, with Mind Matters Clinic in Winnipeg, says depression for men often presents itself differently, through emotions like anger or by overworking. He says on the surface, these coping mechanisms might work temporarily, but it doesn’t get to the core of people’s struggles.

“It presents itself entirely differently because men take on this functional role. ‘How can I be functional, how can I be purposeful, how can I accomplish the task? As long as the task is done, it doesn’t matter how I’m feeling.’ But the reality is, underneath it all, if you’re not feeling okay, you’re not doing your task well either way.”

Greenfeld, who has done work and research on men and masculinity, says he’s seeing more men coming into his practice seeking supports.

“The fact that these men and boys are seeking these services, I mean, it’s excellent,” he said.

Like any other occupation, he says it’s important to have specialized services for different demographics of the population.

“It’s all about relatability. And if two thirds of effective therapy is based on the rapport alone, if you don’t connect with the therapist, it doesn’t really matter what they know. But it’s an added bonus if you do and, you know, if you connect with the therapist based on their gender or their experience or some of the things that they’ve done, you’re buying in more to the system,” he explained.

“For example in my case, when I see certain boys or men come in here and they know the work that I’ve done, and they’ve seen some of the work that I’ve done, it’s immediate … I’m able to give them that experience but also give them that experience of, I am partly where I am because I’ve been openly talking about my feelings, my experiences, wins and losses along the way.

“It’s all about relatability. And if two thirds of effective therapy is based on the rapport alone, if you don’t connect with the therapist, it doesn’t really matter what they know. But it’s an added bonus if you do and, you know, if you connect with the therapist based on their gender or their experience or some of the things that they’ve done, you’re buying in more to the system.”

The Canadian Mental Health Association in Winnipeg is a national organization advocating for mental health. Stephen Sutherland, the organization’s fund development manager, says it’s working to reduce barriers for people to access resources.

“We want a Manitoba where access to mental health at is looked at and honoured as a human right,” said Sutherland.

“We have great programs in the province, but how can we get people connected to these services and programs when they’re ready? So it’s like, ‘Oh it’s great that you’ve come. Can you wait three and a half months? Can you come back?’ And that’s something that we don’t want to do.”

Sutherland says CMHA has dozens of programs for everyone in the community — from men, women, 2SLGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities.

“All these community engagements that are both in-person and virtual allows Manitobans direct access to the things that they’re looking for,” said Sutherland.

“Men put a lot of emphasis on strength,” adds Greenfeld. “And oftentimes it’s seen that seeking therapy is a sign of weakness. And in the end it’s actually the opposite.”