Program helping incarcerated mothers connect with their children
Posted May 25, 2023 10:26 am.
Last Updated May 25, 2023 10:43 am.
For many incarcerated people, the only way they can see their family is behind a glass partition with no physical contact, and usually only for a very short time.
Now, that might be a good way to meet with your lawyer, but it’s certainly no way to foster a bond between a mother and their child.
“At the end of the day, we hope people get to leave and go back to the community. And we want this family to thrive back in the community together, not to carry forward a legacy that has been nothing but disruption and pain and difficulty,” said Patrice Butts, the coordinator of the Mother-Child program at the Grand Valley Institution for Women (GVI), a maximum, medium and minimum level security prison in Kitchener, ON.
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“COVID came and Patrice Butts brought this program for video visits for our kids. We never had this before and it was just great. That was great for our children and for our mothers,” said Faye Higgins, a prisoner at Grand Valley.
Higgens was sentenced to life in prison for second degree murder in 2013. Higgins killed a man in 2010, after alledging that he molested a very young child. She’s been incarcerated for most of her son’s life.
“I think the video visits really was the one of the most impactful things because COVID hit and we weren’t seeing each other at all,” said Higgins.
Maintaining that bond with her teenage son meant they could continue to build their relationship, and teach him some of the traditional Indigenous practices she’s been learning. But video calls only go so far with young children.
The read-aloud program at GVI allows mothers to read and record children’s books, so their kids can listen along at home. Brittany Crozier, serving a twelve-year sentence for drug trafficking takes part in the program as much as possible. Her two young children are being raised by her father and step-mother in Oakville.
“I started doing it a couple months into my sentence,” explained Crozier. “ I realized that it’s just a nice, calming, peaceful thing to do with my kids. Them hearing my voice, just getting them to remember, that sometimes I am not physically with you, but I’ll always be with you.”
Crozier’s mother was in and out of jail when she was a child and is currently incarcerated at the NOVA Institution for Women, in Truro, NS.
“I never visited my mom when she was in prison. Even in jail, I never went. I remember. She would call me when she was in prison here and I didn’t want anything to do with her. I was on my own path to becoming border security and not wanting anything to do with my family,” said Crozier. “I just felt that my upbringing in that crime cycle. I wanted nothing to do with it.”
Butts said Brittany’s experience with being exposed to prison life can influence some of the choices made in one’s life.
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“We know historical experience shows up. That’s what we mean by generational influence and traumas that are carried forward. And so Brittany, I think, knows all too well how much she doesn’t want her children to perhaps experience some of the things that she did in the same way,” said Butts.
Breaking the cycle of criminality while maintaining the bond is critical and inmates are encouraged to find ways to keep the connection to their kids in any way possible, even if they aren’t formalized programs.
“Life isn’t easy inside here or outside their life. But I think it makes it easier as a mom is being connected to your kids. If it’s on the phone in person, writing a letter,” said Crozier during a group session with other incarcerated mothers.
Tabita Eliot, convicted of weapon and drug charges agrees. Her son just started highschool this year and is in foster care, she keeps the connection strong by gravitating towards his interests.
He likes cooking, so they started trying out new recipes togeher. “It takes some planning. I have to make sure I have all the ingrediants more than a week ahead,” Eliot said. “But we make the food and then talk about it afterwards.” On this day, she’s making an avocado, egg and parmasean sandwich she saw prepared on a cooking show.
Sometimes Eliot will watch an entire movie or even just tv show with her son on the phone—it isn’t easy, the phone is bolted to a wall and the cord doesn’t quite reach the TV room., but she tries. “I need to know what he’s interested in,” she explained.
“It’s important to still build that bond and be connected so it doesn’t matter where you are inside or outside anywhere,” added Crozier. “Keep that connection with your kids.”
Keeping that connection is easier when you have access to programs to help you parent and prepare for life on the outside. A new documentary takes a look at the programs that help turn convicts into community members.
Watch “VeraCity: Prison Moms” on Sunday, May 28 at 10 p.m./9 p.m. CT only on Citytv.
