How to discuss terrifying and major events with children

It’s been a scary few days after 10 people were brutally killed in a stabbing rampage in James Smith Cree Nation.

For Andrea Dixon, the horrifying events in Saskatchewan hit close to home.

Dixon is a registered social worker and psychotherapist in Winnipeg. While events like these seem scary to kids, Dixon says honesty is the best policy. She says parents and teachers should be calm, reassuring and should be open to all questions when discussing this matter with kids.

“It did create a lot of terror, and I do in fact have a sister-in-law who lives in that area. We were very scared and nervous. We are checking in with her regularly to make sure she is okay, but it’s very scary,” said Dixon.

“You want to be able to allow them to ask questions. You don’t know what’s going through their minds, but their questions are basically telling you what is going through their minds. In that regard, you can reassure them, but if you aren’t answering their questions, or you are distracting them, those questions and worries aren’t going away, they will just keep it to themselves.”

Leah Borchert is a certified therapist and specializes in working with children and young adults. She says parents and teachers should validate these fears to children.

“It’s okay to be afraid. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Reminding the kids that, even though it’s normal to be afraid, they are safe. Right now, in this moment where they are, at home or school, they are safe at this moment with the people they are with,” explained Borchert.

Borchert says this situation is not hard just on kids, but for everyone.

“It’s so important for people to support each other. That could look like you supporting your kids, or it could also look like you reaching out to the people who support you in your life; family, friends, partner, whoever you have. Remembering it’s not just the kids, but you need support too.”

Students across Manitoba are back in the classrooms this week, starting their first normal year of school in two years.

Dixon says kids might be already stressed during this time, starting a completely new routine, so it’s important to approach these conversations delicately.

“This added stress might create a little more anxiety, challenges when it comes to separation from caregivers. So check in with kids to make sure they are safe. Predictability is what keeps everyone calm.”